Last week we started our series on the seven principles of discipline. The first principle of discipline is to tell children what they should do instead of what they shouldn’t do. Today we will discuss second principle of discipline.
I really love doing workshops and talking about the second principle of discipline. This principle states that we must protect and preserve children's feelings that they are lovable and capable. We refer to a person's feelings of being lovable and capable as an IALAC (I am lovable and capable). Your IALAC is a little bit like your spirit. It is your self-esteem. You can't see it but it's an important part of the person that you are.
Our children need big strong IALACs if they are to feel good about their capability to learn and function in the world. It is very much like needing to feel loved before one can give love in return.
IALACs grow or shrink as a result of our experiences in our relationships with other people. Adults hinder or foster the growth of children's IALACs by the way they discipline their children.
Do you remember when you were a young child and you accidentally spilled milk when you were pouring yourself a glass? Did your parents say to you, “Can't you do anything right?” Or did they say, “Help me wipe it up and you can try to pour your milk again.”